11/16....I had this written but didn't get it posted yesterday....it take us through the early afternoon of the 16th.  I'll work on one last post to finish things out...it may take awhile but I'll get there.  Didn't want to waste this though since it was nearly done....Thank you all for journeying with us...

“Hard but good”.  A chosen response to any question that is asked regarding my/our condition.  It is a true description of each of the past 8 days or 8 months.  Even though her strength is diminishing Sharon is still making us laugh.  

At 3:00am

”I want my coffee” she says while pointing her curved finger at the chair across the room.  Sharon has never pointed with her finger stretched out straight.  Why is that?  It’s a mystery.  “Alright” she says, “I’ll stay in my bed.”  After the first sip of coffee, “nectar of the Gods” She follows that edict with a plea. ”Now let's get on with the mission!”  Gwenn, Lana and I ask, “what mission?  ”To get in the chair.” she blurts out  determinedly.   We offer a displeasing but calculated response. “Aaah yeah we could try that but it didn’t go so well yesterday and takes a lot of effort.”  After a few quiet moments she says ,echoing the spirit of every person on the planet, ”I like to be in control.”  More silence as we all let that sink in.  Sharon breaks the silence ”I was pretty obedient wasn’t I”.  If everyone on earth could follow this path of honesty and compliance we’d all be in better shape. 

5:30am Sharon blurts out this intriguing question, “How am I gonna get in the car?” Seeking information we ask, “Where are we going?”  Without pause she responds matter of factly, “In and Out Burger” We probably should have been able to figure that out no?

Gotta take care of business.  “Not today Sharon ...but 3 weeks ago we had one.”  “I remember that.” she says.  A dorm son is bringing In & Out for lunch today.  We’d love to share some with her but applesauce is a challenge at this point.  That doesn’t change the fact that Sharon has always been a lover of all things food and In and Out would rank relatively high.

7:50am  Father Art walks in, “Here’s your father  Sharon.”  “Yeah he’s handsome.”.  In retrospect I should have asked her how I look but that could have been dangerous.

I love the fact that two of these moments were focused on food.  This is an area that has been amazing.  I’ve been here over a week and have purchased just one meal and that one was at Taco Bell with Josh and I reckon he’d have gladly picked up the tab. 

8:00am The “Kat” is back.  She was a great nurse yesterday and will be again today.  We’ve loved several occasions of having the same nurse who was with us before.  I’ve said it already but we’ve been so blessed by the staff here at Sharp.  I’ve written no less than 19 Comment Care Cards about specific moments with various members of the Sharp family.   Praying nurse #4 was on par today with those who have gone before her.  Her mode of prayer was standing just outside the door.  The form matters not.  Our Lord loves to hear from us wherever we are.

I've been verbally acknowledging for a month or more now that I must be grieving.   Thus I set about looking for signs of the elements of grief and acknowledge them and their legitimacy in my life.  Some salvation from their destructive nature seems to be found in an equivalent or greater acceptance of the truth that all of life is about God who is real and is good and has provided counter measures for us to revel in.  So we were in the room with Sharon, breathing heavily, her father the pastor, her brother in law the psychologist, her sister the ICU nurse, her friend (just one of a million) Lana the the hand holding journeywoman and her husband the story telling nostalgian.  We are reviewing the stages of grief.  One would think that this crew could come up with these 5 stages so familiar to so many.  We wrestled a bit: Denial, Anger, Negotiation, Grief, Sadness, Acceptance.  “Aren’t sadness and grief the same?”  “Yes.” “So which do we like sadness or grief.” “Grief.” “ So now we ‘like’ grief?”  Laughter throughout.  So we sat next to the hard working Sharon laughing about ‘grief’.  Were she not working so hard at breathing she most certainly would have joined us and filled the room with her famous laugh.  We are grieving and we will continue to.  We will simultaneously grab hold of all the joy in life that God gives us and we will carry on.